The Rise of Skywalker
Dec. 26th, 2019 10:57 pmSo I have a TON of feelings about this movie, and they need to be written down NOW. Spoilers will be behind the cut.
First of all, I'm getting tired of people complaining so much about J. J. Abrams, as if he's somehow single-handedly responsible for destroying the films we loved during our childhoods. The dude is a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek, and it shows through in his writing. Do you really want an aging George Lucas to write these films, without his ex-wife editing them like she did the original trilogy? We had that. It's called the prequel trilogy. Most fans agree that the prequels suck. Admit it: you want the original trilogy, only New Again, so you can experience it for the first time again. You can't have that. None of us can have that. It's impossible without completely wiping your memory and showing you the original trilogy. And that's okay. Some things are fleeting, like the feeling you had when you saw your favorite movie for the first time. You still remember the way you felt the first time you saw A New Hope, and that memory is still there. Nobody can buy or sell that memory. It's yours.
OK, now that that's over with, I'm starting with something absolutely beautiful. There is a subset of SW fans who somehow missed the entire point of Star Wars and grew up to be racist, sexist assholes. I'm thinking of the dude who wrote the TFA review that called BB-9 a "little cuck ball." (If that was satire, it was masterfully done. I certainly believed it was an actual MRA douchebag.) These terrible fans wouldn't STFU about Rose....existing. How dare a WOC have an important role in a Star War. How dare she be anywhere except the background while the Manly Men do the actual work. So naturally, TRoS has Rose in a much smaller role than she had in TLJ--and turns around and adds two new female characters, both of which are vital to advancing the plot, one of whom is black and plays a pivotal role in the final battle. Because fuck you, bigoted fans! Cry harder! Your tears give us strength.
As always, the droids were entertaining. And yes, of course I spoke along when C-3PO introduced himself. "Hello, I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations" has been permanently etched into my brain since I was a toddler and my dad taped the original trilogy off the TV. (I need to see if I can find those old tapes. Since the Special Edition has been the only commercially-available one for over 20 years, it's hard to find the SW I actually watched as a kid.)
We all knew Leia was going to die, so this isn't a spoiler. They handled her death beautifully, IMO. As promised, there was still enough unused footage of Carrie Fisher that they could make her appearance in TRoS believable. I don't think Leia or Carrie could have been treated more respectfully in the movie than what we got.
There was also some shameless pandering, in two scenes at the very end of the movie that lasted less than 2 seconds each. We got Ewoks. Because apparently, somebody out there thinks, not only that fans all loved the Ewoks (I personally liked them as a kid), but that 2 seconds of cheering Ewoks at the end of the movie is the correct amount of Ewoks. THEY DID NOTHING IN THE MOVIE. Why not throw in the damn Gungans too, tick all the "annoying alien races created for merchandising purposes" boxes?
We also got "lesbian representation," in the form of 2 women who don't even get named or have any speaking roles kissing. Oh hey, a second and a half of Gay that can be easily removed for overseas markets because Disney are greedy cowards. That is not representation. That is the biggest media company in the world throwing us a tiny crumb and pretending it's a whole goddamned cake. SAME-SEX COUPLES AREN'T CONTROVERSIAL ANYMORE. EVERYONE ELSE IS INCLUDING THEM. Join the fucking 21st century already, Disney.
On the plus side, did y'all see Rey, Finn, and Poe in that 3-way hug at the end? IDC what anyone says, they are a triad. You will pluck this ship from my cold dead fingers.
And spoiler time.
( Read more... )
I'm sure I'm going to have more complaints after the initial euphoria of I JUST SAW A NEW STAR WARS MOVIE wears off, but for now? I'm happy with it, overall. It wasn't the utter tirefire that everyone on the Internet made it out to be, that's for sure.
First of all, I'm getting tired of people complaining so much about J. J. Abrams, as if he's somehow single-handedly responsible for destroying the films we loved during our childhoods. The dude is a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek, and it shows through in his writing. Do you really want an aging George Lucas to write these films, without his ex-wife editing them like she did the original trilogy? We had that. It's called the prequel trilogy. Most fans agree that the prequels suck. Admit it: you want the original trilogy, only New Again, so you can experience it for the first time again. You can't have that. None of us can have that. It's impossible without completely wiping your memory and showing you the original trilogy. And that's okay. Some things are fleeting, like the feeling you had when you saw your favorite movie for the first time. You still remember the way you felt the first time you saw A New Hope, and that memory is still there. Nobody can buy or sell that memory. It's yours.
OK, now that that's over with, I'm starting with something absolutely beautiful. There is a subset of SW fans who somehow missed the entire point of Star Wars and grew up to be racist, sexist assholes. I'm thinking of the dude who wrote the TFA review that called BB-9 a "little cuck ball." (If that was satire, it was masterfully done. I certainly believed it was an actual MRA douchebag.) These terrible fans wouldn't STFU about Rose....existing. How dare a WOC have an important role in a Star War. How dare she be anywhere except the background while the Manly Men do the actual work. So naturally, TRoS has Rose in a much smaller role than she had in TLJ--and turns around and adds two new female characters, both of which are vital to advancing the plot, one of whom is black and plays a pivotal role in the final battle. Because fuck you, bigoted fans! Cry harder! Your tears give us strength.
As always, the droids were entertaining. And yes, of course I spoke along when C-3PO introduced himself. "Hello, I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations" has been permanently etched into my brain since I was a toddler and my dad taped the original trilogy off the TV. (I need to see if I can find those old tapes. Since the Special Edition has been the only commercially-available one for over 20 years, it's hard to find the SW I actually watched as a kid.)
We all knew Leia was going to die, so this isn't a spoiler. They handled her death beautifully, IMO. As promised, there was still enough unused footage of Carrie Fisher that they could make her appearance in TRoS believable. I don't think Leia or Carrie could have been treated more respectfully in the movie than what we got.
There was also some shameless pandering, in two scenes at the very end of the movie that lasted less than 2 seconds each. We got Ewoks. Because apparently, somebody out there thinks, not only that fans all loved the Ewoks (I personally liked them as a kid), but that 2 seconds of cheering Ewoks at the end of the movie is the correct amount of Ewoks. THEY DID NOTHING IN THE MOVIE. Why not throw in the damn Gungans too, tick all the "annoying alien races created for merchandising purposes" boxes?
We also got "lesbian representation," in the form of 2 women who don't even get named or have any speaking roles kissing. Oh hey, a second and a half of Gay that can be easily removed for overseas markets because Disney are greedy cowards. That is not representation. That is the biggest media company in the world throwing us a tiny crumb and pretending it's a whole goddamned cake. SAME-SEX COUPLES AREN'T CONTROVERSIAL ANYMORE. EVERYONE ELSE IS INCLUDING THEM. Join the fucking 21st century already, Disney.
On the plus side, did y'all see Rey, Finn, and Poe in that 3-way hug at the end? IDC what anyone says, they are a triad. You will pluck this ship from my cold dead fingers.
And spoiler time.
( Read more... )
I'm sure I'm going to have more complaints after the initial euphoria of I JUST SAW A NEW STAR WARS MOVIE wears off, but for now? I'm happy with it, overall. It wasn't the utter tirefire that everyone on the Internet made it out to be, that's for sure.